Take the Pressure Test

Ubud, Bali · info@mikkailhandby.com

Guiding men from success to fulfilment

You already knowwhat's wrong.Knowing hasn't changed it.

When you experience real pressure, your body reacts before your mind has a chance to think. You can read all the books, know all the theory, and still freeze, snap or shut down the second that old wound gets touched.

Take the Pressure TestSee the work
  • Contact Room
  • Contact Therapy
  • Contact Online
  • Rites of Passage
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The body holds wisdom the mind doesn't.

Ever caught yourself holding your breath without knowing why? Your body picks up what is happening and responds to it long before your mind can put a story or a meaning to it. That is why your chest tightens before you know what is wrong. Why your mouth goes dry before you have got a word out. The body gets there first, every time, and no amount of reading about it changes what happens in your system when you're activated. So that is where we start.

Who this is for

You cannot out-think a pattern.

Ever notice how the grown man you know disappears when you get triggered? On paper, your life looks pretty good. The business, the house, the relationship. But behind closed doors, when you've been hurt, you're reacting like a much younger version of you.
The little boy.

Knowing the pattern and changing it are two different jobs. Can you name it? Know where it came from? Maybe even see it coming? None of that stops the part that takes over when you get triggered. These patterns were learnt long before you could put them into words.

What changes it is slowing down enough to feel it, when it happens. Where the contraction lives in your body. What your breath does. The moment you want to leave. Then deciding to stay in it instead, which is the part almost nobody manages on their own.

This is what I'm here for, to guide you into the uncomfortable, into the unknown.

The method

Breathe. Feel. Stay.

The three pillars of a man who can stay.

The order is the method. The breath brings you back into the body. Your body speaks to you. Then you learn how to stay.

  1. 01

    Breathe

    Most men live in their heads, inside a story that is usually not true. The breath goes around the thinking mind and drops you into the body, where the real wisdom has been the whole time.

  2. 02

    Feel

    As a boy it was not safe to feel it or to show it, so the body stored it instead. Left alone, suppressed and buried, it comes out sideways, on the people closest to you, the people you love the most. I help you find where it's held, and I guide you through it.

  3. 03

    Stay

    You feel the fire, you breathe through it, and you stay. This is the hardest part, and it is where the body learns that it is safe to feel.

Work with me

The Contact Method.

You can work with me online, from anywhere in the world, or in person in Bali.

In person · Bali

Contact Room

Breathe. Feel. Stay.

This is where we test how you show up under pressure, in real time. Group workshop, gloves on, your nervous system as the subject.

  • No fighting experience needed. Most men who walk in have never thrown a punch. What matters is what happens in your body, not how well you throw one.
  • Gloves on. Structured physical confrontation, with your nervous system as the subject.
  • Held in a conscious container. A group of men willing to meet each other's edges together, with love.
Ask about dates and places
Online · 1:1

Contact Online

Breathe. Feel. Stay.

Private one to one work over video, wherever you are. We go into the body together and work with what is actually there, rather than talking about what happened.

  • Weekly or fortnightly calls. Live, on video. We drop in to where you are currently and work from there.
  • Recorded, every time. So you can go back to what happened rather than trying to remember it.
  • Support between sessions. The pattern fires in real life, never in a session. That is when you need me.
Enquire about Contact Online
In person · Bali

Contact Therapy

Breathe. Feel. Stay.

Same room, same work, nobody else in it. Four sessions over four weeks, one to one.

  • Four sessions, four weeks. Same mechanism as the Contact Room, worked with you alone.
  • Gloves on. Structured physical confrontation, with your nervous system as the subject.
  • Support between sessions. The pattern fires in real life, never in a session. That is when you need me.
Enquire about Contact Therapy
A man held above the heads of a group of men
A wrapped fist held out toward the camera in the Contact Room

Rites of Passage · Bali and Europe

Most men are never initiated.

Men used to be brought into manhood by the men around them. The fathers, the uncles, the brothers, the whole community. It meant facing challenge, and the fear that comes with it, head on. This is where courage is born. We lost that in the West. Rites of Passage is seven days with a group of men who have the courage to go through this experience together. Iron sharpens iron. Men sharpen men.

Co-facilitated with Steve Shiva, Temple of Radiance.

Ask about the next Rite.
Mikkail Handby standing in the garden, arms folded

My story

Eighteen years working for billionaires.

Two months on, two months off, working that close to the wealthiest men on paper. I got to see how they behave behind the scenes.

Money did not make them better men. If anything it highlighted what was still unresolved. I watched men who could buy anything struggle to hold a relationship together, and struggle to connect with their wives and their children. Work was their escape, the thing they used to avoid what they were most afraid to feel. The patterns were still running underneath the success.

That changed what success meant to me.

I realised every man escapes, avoids, explodes or shuts down in his own way. Mine was getting out of my reality any way I could. Drugs, alcohol, women, jumping out of planes.

For years I couldn't sit still with myself. The moment things went quiet, something would start moving inside me and I'd find a way out. Anything to avoid the one thing I couldn't do: sit still and feel it. Sound familiar? It worked for a while, until it didn't.

When it stopped working, I blamed everyone around me. My partner, my boss, my parents. Ever done that? Eventually I saw that the only person in every one of those stories was me.

I still get activated. I still feel all of it, and sometimes I still snap, usually when I'm tired or running on empty. What changed is that I can name it out loud while it's happening instead of three days later. That's the whole thing I teach.

This is why I do this work.

Training and lineage

Who I trained under.

6Years in men's work
6Years facilitating breathwork
3Facilitator qualifications
2Countries hosting retreats
Breathwork Detox Facilitator
Trained under Kurtis Lee Thomas
Somatic Breathwork Facilitator
Trained under Steven Jaggers, founder of SOMA+IQ
ERMP Facilitator and Practitioner
Trauma informed nervous system regulation, created by Pierre Etienne
Mentored by Jan-Willem van der Heiden
My own coaching technique is built on his
Men's circles, transformational spaces, Rites of Passage
Six years facilitating, Bali and Europe
The Reclamation ebook, shown as a printed cover

Yours when you finish the quiz

Reclamation

The ebook is my own account of the pattern: reactive, then ashamed, then people pleasing, then resentful, traced back to a boy who scanned every room to work out what people wanted. If any of that sounds familiar, start here.

  • The Reclamation ebook. The full pattern, written plainly, with what actually shifted it.
  • An honest read on where you are. Tell me what is going on and I will tell you if this is your room.
Take the Pressure Test

Two minutes. You get your pattern, and the ebook lands in your inbox straight after.

Questions

Before you ask.

Do I need to know how to fight?

You don't need to. Most men who walk in have never thrown a punch. Putting on gloves and stepping into the ring is a way into a high pressure experience, that's all. What matters is what happens in your body and how you respond, not how well you can throw a punch. There is real risk, and that's the point. It's held in a safe way, a conscious container of men willing to meet each other's edges together, with love.

What if I freeze?

Then we have found the thing. Every man freezes somewhere. That's your body doing what it learnt to do to keep you safe. Most of the useful work in that room happens in the moment a man notices he has gone somewhere else and comes back.

What's the difference between Contact Room, Contact Online and Contact Therapy?

All three sit inside The Contact Method. Contact Room is the group workshop in Bali, gloves on, in a room with other men. Contact Therapy is the same work in Bali, one to one, four sessions over four weeks. Contact Online is one to one over video, wherever you are, breathwork, somatic tracking and parts work, without the physical confrontation piece. Same mechanism, different room.

Do I need experience with this kind of work?

No. Some men come to me feeling lost, with no words for what's going on. Others have been doing their own work for years and want to go deeper. Wherever you're at, you're welcome here.

Is this therapy?

No. This is coaching and facilitation, trauma informed, working bottom up through the body. It sits alongside therapy well and it doesn't replace clinical care. If you're in crisis, get clinical support first and we can work together after.

Where does the work happen?

Bali for the Contact Room, group or one to one, and men's circles. Rites of Passage runs in Bali in May and Europe in September. The European location moves each year, Portugal this year and Poland next. Contact Online runs wherever you are.

How much does it cost?

Pricing is set per container and I'll give you the real number on the call, not before. Worth naming though: most men who tell me they can't afford this will spend three or four hundred dollars in a night without blinking. I was one of them.

Nothing changes from reading about it.

Send me a message and tell me what's going on. I read them myself and I'll tell you honestly whether this is the right room for you.

Message me on WhatsAppBook a call